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The Problem of Using Force – and the Solution
by On September 20, 2010

If you watch nature, there are many events that take place that involve a high degree of power such as storms, earthquakes, tornados, floods, and all of them cause dramatic changes to whatever they come in contact with at the moment. And all of this happens without the storm, tornado, or flood caring about the results.

Many times we try to force a result, when if we just did our job to the best of our ability then the results would take care of themselves.

How we can use this to our advantage?

It starts with faith, and it is the faith that you will be taken care of no matter what the results. Faith that you are going to be OK and that everything happens for a reason, and even if pain is the result that it will serve you in time. Faith that you are not a victim and you are in control of your destiny.

Once that faith is secure, you can be open to any of the possibilities. Then when you are negotiating a deadline, closing a sale, countering their offer, finalizing a payment plan or anything of the sort, you can begin with the optimal end result in mind and not be emotionally attached to it.

Emotional attachment to a result is the killer of all negotiation because it is the root cause of force. Using force damages the relationship because whoever feels forced in any situation ultimately feels as though they were not listened to or cared about. Someone who feels as though his or her arm was twisted or forced into doing something will eventually fight back and that does not help anyone.

Being open to all possibilities means looking for the Win-Win in every situation instead of using force to get your way.

It may require more time on the front end but it will save time, energy, and the relationship in the long run. Be open to all of the possibilities that are in front of you this month and avoid forcing square pegs into round holes. Eventually you will find the place where it all fits together.

Be Free!

Tom Weber

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