There goes a saying around my house — Jana wants, and Jana gets. Not because I deserve it, but because I ASK for it. There are very few things in this world not worth asking for. Have you ever complained about not getting something you want? Have you considered taking responsibility for it because you did not ASK for it?
Perhaps you did not ask for a referral from a client, a raise from your boss, the sale, help from your spouse around the house, the pretty girl on the train for a date, or a refund for airline luggage fees when your luggage was lost? If you could have asked for something you wanted, and you didnt why?
Did you not think about it, or were you scared of getting the answer, NO?
Fear of rejection is a learned fear. I believe it can be unlearned as well. When did we realize it was so bad to be told ‘no’? So your parents told you ‘no’ when you were a child, so what someone told you as a child you could not play with them, get over it wherever this fear was learned it is time to challenge the thoughts that are holding us back. Why are you NOT ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT???
The other day I had a meeting that ended up being rescheduled. Not what I had anticipated for my day, but I still walked out of that office with 5 referrals even though I had not technically conducted business with anyone. So what if they had said no? NEXT!
One of my favorite books is The Four Agreements. If you have not read it, I highly recommend it. One of the four principles it teaches i
s not taking things so personally. The word no is not going to kill you, in fact how will you ever get the yeses if you never go for a no? Anyon
e in sales knows this principle well. There are many sales leaders that will tell you to go for the no. For the law of probability will eventually give you a yes.
So you have come to the conclusion you are not asking for what you want. How do you begin? Start by asking yourself a few questions
1. What do you want?
2. Who do you ask for it?
3. What is the best way to approach the person (make sure your intention is kind)?
4. What is the worst-case scenario if you do not achieve the outcome you want? (I guarantee it will not end in — and then I died.)
5. What is the best-case scenario (maybe you get MORE than you asked for)?
6. Is it worth the risk to you?
I have more cajones than most, so I say ALWAYS GO FOR BROKE but you might not be so risky maybe it is not worth it to you to be rejected for a simple room upgrade at the hotel. But what do you have to lose? The great news is, once you ask for it, you just might get it! With some self-confidence as an added bonus!