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What to Do When the &^%# Hits the Fan
by On January 14, 2013

Consistent successful results come with their fair share of challenges.

Some people may look like they don’t have challenges and obstacles, but the reality is that everyone encounters pitfalls.

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Here are a couple of Do’s and Dont’s that you can simply apply to your next bump in the road.

Don’t Blame Other People or Make Excuses

Someone MAY be to blame!  You might have a perfectly legitimate excuse.  Your blame and excuses aren’t going to help you get a better result, they simply pacify you from feeling uncomfortable.

Don’t Ignore Your Problems or Sweep Them Under the Rug

Sometimes you need to have difficult conversations.  Sometimes you need to take actions that aren’t fun or comfortable.

Ignoring your feelings when you are angry or sad isn’t going to fix anything.  At best you are just delaying the problem.  At worst you are letting your negative energy build and become worse.

Take the high road and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

What to Do?

Look for the Good in the Situation

There is good to be found in any situation, so matter how difficult it may be.  This may not be easy and it might not be available for you see immediately.  When you look back at even the most challenging moments in your life, you can find how that situation lead to something good.  You can see how it fostered your growth and made you stronger.  You don’t have to wait years to pass to find the good.

Take Action

The old saying that “action cures fear” holds a lot of truth.  Especially when a solution isn’t readily visible, taking action will help focus your mind on things other than the problem at hand.

Be Grateful

You can’t be negative AND grateful at the same time.  By sincerely looking at other areas in your life that ARE working, at the very least, you will balance the challenging situations that you might be facing.

Start with the obvious and the easy to find.  Your family.  Your health.  Your work or friends.  Whatever fills you with gratitude is an immediate boost to your energy and allows you more power to go chase after your existing challenges.  If you are really stuck – this video will help!

None of these suggestions are rocket-science. I also imagine you’ve heard these suggestions before.  This is not a question of do you know this stuff – it’s all about are you doing it?!?

Be Free!

eric

Happy Monday Friend!
by On November 5, 2012

One of the fastest ways to kill your momentum is to avoid a problem that you have with someone close to you.

Road blocks and pitfalls are a natural part of relationships.  They happen at work.   In marriages.  With friends.  Any meaningful relationship is bound to have conflict from time to time.

When and how you address your challenges can be the difference between a deeper, more authentic connection that propels your forward and being totally stuck.

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This topic to such a big deal to me that i’m putting together a 6 month contest with the winner receiving a free ticket to the Abundant Living Retreat.

How the contest works is simple. Post your story about where a difficult conversation in your life turned out to be a beneficial experience for you and the other person (or people) involved. This can be something recent or from your past. Posting your story allows you to reconnect to the positive outcome & can help you to make that a positive pattern in your life. It also can provide inspiration to others who may be hesitant to make the conversation happen. And winning a $5,000 retreat would be cool too!

Only posts on the blogsite (no Facebook or emails) from November 2012 to April 2013 will be entered. The Freedom Personal Development staff will pick the top 6 finalists and you will vote for the top winner in May 2013.

If you’ve found this topic beneficial, please take the time to share it with others … and post your thoughts and questions as well as your stores.  I’m looking forward to reading them all.

be free!

eric

 

 

The 7 Cs of Communication – A Checklist for Clear Communication
by On October 30, 2012

Think of how often you communicate with people during your day. You write emails, facilitate meetings, participate in conference calls, create reports, devise presentations, debate with your colleagues… the list goes on.

We can spend almost our entire day communicating. So, how can we provide a huge boost to our productivity? We can make sure that we communicate in the clearest, most effective way possible.

This is why the 7 Cs of Communication are helpful. The 7 Cs provide a checklist for making sure that your meetings, emails, conference calls, reports, and presentations are well constructed and clear – so your audience gets your message.

According to the 7 Cs, communication needs to be:

Clear.

Concise.

Concrete.

Correct.

Coherent.

Complete.

Courteous.

In this article, we look at each of the 7 Cs of Communication, and we’ll illustrate each element with both good and bad examples.

1. Clear

When writing or speaking to someone, be clear about your goal or message. What is your purpose in communicating with this person? If you’re not sure, then your audience won’t be sure either.

To be clear, try to minimize the number of ideas in each sentence. Make sure that it’s easy for your reader to understand your meaning. People shouldn’t have to “read between the lines” and make assumptions on their own to understand what you’re trying to say.

Bad Example

Hi John,

I wanted to write you a quick note about Daniel, who’s working in your department. He’s a great asset, and I’d like to talk to you more about him when you have time.

Best,

Skip

What is this email about? Well, we’re not sure. First, if there are multiple Daniels in John’s department, John won’t know who Skip is talking about.

Next, what is Daniel doing, specifically, that’s so great? We don’t know that either. It’s so vague that John will definitely have to write back for more information.

Last, what is the purpose of this email? Does Skip simply want to have an idle chat about Daniel, or is there some more specific goal here? There’s no sense of purpose to this message, so it’s a bit confusing.

Good Example

Let’s see how we could change this email to make it clear.

Hi John,

I wanted to write you a quick note about Daniel Kedar, who’s working in your department. In recent weeks, he’s helped the IT department through several pressing deadlines on his own time.

We’ve got a tough upgrade project due to run over the next three months, and his knowledge and skills would prove invaluable. Could we please have his help with this work?

I’d appreciate speaking with you about this. When is it best to call you to discuss this further?

Best wishes,

Skip

This second message is much clearer, because the reader has the information he needs to take action.

2. Concise

When you’re concise in your communication, you stick to the point and keep it brief. Your audience doesn’t want to read six sentences when you could communicate your message in three.

Are there any adjectives or “filler words” that you can delete? You can often eliminate words like “for instance,” “you see,” “definitely,” “kind of,” “literally,” “basically,” or “I mean.”

Are there any unnecessary sentences?

Have you repeated the point several times, in different ways?

Bad Example

Hi Matt,

I wanted to touch base with you about the email marketing campaign we kind of sketched out last Thursday. I really think that our target market is definitely going to want to see the company’s philanthropic efforts. I think that could make a big impact, and it would stay in their minds longer than a sales pitch.

For instance, if we talk about the company’s efforts to become sustainable, as well as the charity work we’re doing in local schools, then the people that we want to attract are going to remember our message longer. The impact will just be greater.

What do you think?

Jessica

This email is too long! There’s repetition, and there’s plenty of “filler” taking up space.

Good Example

Watch what happens when we’re concise and take out the filler words:

Hi Matt,

I wanted to quickly discuss the email marketing campaign that we analyzed last Thursday. Our target market will want to know about the company’s philanthropic efforts, especially our goals to become sustainable and help local schools.

This would make a far greater impact, and it would stay in their minds longer than a traditional sales pitch.

What do you think?

Jessica

3. Concrete

When your message is concrete, then your audience has a clear picture of what you’re telling them. There are details (but not too many!) and vivid facts, and there’s laserlike focus. Your message is solid.

Bad Example

Consider this advertising copy:

The Lunchbox Wizard will save you time every day.

A statement like this probably won’t sell many of these products. There’s no passion, no vivid detail, nothing that creates emotion, and nothing that tells people in the audience why they should care. This message isn’t concrete enough to make a difference.

Good Example

How much time do you spend every day packing your kids’ lunches? No more! Just take a complete Lunchbox Wizard from your refrigerator each day to give your kids a healthy lunch AND have more time to play or read with them!

This copy is better because there are vivid images. The audience can picture spending quality time with their kids – and what parent could argue with that? And mentioning that the product is stored in the refrigerator explains how the idea is practical. The message has come alive through these details.

4. Correct

When your communication is correct, it fits your audience. And correct communication is also error-free communication.

Do the technical terms you use fit your audience’s level of education or knowledge?

Have you checked your writing for grammatical errors? Remember, spell checkers won’t catch everything.

Are all names and titles spelled correctly?

Bad Example

Hi Daniel,

Thanks so much for meeting me at lunch today! I enjoyed our conservation, and I’m looking forward to moving ahead on our project. I’m sure that the two-weak deadline won’t be an issue.

Thanks again, and I’ll speak to you soon!

Best,

Jack Miller

If you read that example fast, then you might not have caught any errors. But on closer inspection, you’ll find two. Can you see them?

The first error is that the writer accidentally typed conservation instead of conversation. This common error can happen when you’re typing too fast. The other error is using weak instead of week.

Again, spell checkers won’t catch word errors like this, which is why it’s so important to proofread everything!

5. Coherent

When your communication is coherent, it’s logical. All points are connected and relevant to the main topic, and the tone and flow of the text is consistent.

Bad Example

Traci,

I wanted to write you a quick note about the report you finished last week. I gave it to
Michelle to proof, and she wanted to make sure you knew about the department meeting we’re having this Friday. We’ll be creating an outline for the new employee handbook.

Thanks,

Michelle

As you can see, this email doesn’t communicate its point very well. Where is Michelle’s feedback on Traci’s report? She started to mention it, but then she changed the topic to Friday’s meeting.

Good Example

Hi Traci,

I wanted to write you a quick note about the report you finished last week. I gave it to Michelle to proof, and she let me know that there are a few changes that you’ll need to make. She’ll email you her detailed comments later this afternoon.

Thanks,

Michelle

Notice that in the good example, Michelle does not mention Friday’s meeting. This is because the meeting reminder should be an entirely separate email. This way, Traci can delete the report feedback email after she makes her changes, but save the email about the meeting as her reminder to attend. Each email has only one main topic.

6. Complete

In a complete message, the audience has everything they need to be informed and, if applicable, take action.

Does your message include a “call to action”, so that your audience clearly knows what you want them to do?

Have you included all relevant information – contact names, dates, times, locations, and so on?

Bad Example

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to send you all a reminder about the meeting we’re having tomorrow!

See you then,

Chris

This message is not complete, for obvious reasons. What meeting? When is it? Where? Chris has left his team without the necessary information.

Good Example

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to remind you about tomorrow’s meeting on the new telecommuting policies. The meeting will be at 10:00 a.m. in the second-level conference room. Please let me know if you can’t attend.

See you then,

Chris

7. Courteous

Courteous communication is friendly, open, and honest. There are no hidden insults or passive-aggressive tones. You keep your reader’s viewpoint in mind, and you’re empathetic to their needs.

Bad Example

Jeff,

I wanted to let you know that I don’t appreciate how your team always monopolizes the discussion at our weekly meetings. I have a lot of projects, and I really need time to get my team’s progress discussed as well. So far, thanks to your department, I haven’t been able to do that. Can you make sure they make time for me and my team next week?

Thanks,

Phil

Well, that’s hardly courteous! Messages like this can potentially start officewide fights. And this email does nothing but create bad feelings, and lower productivity and morale. A little bit of courtesy, even in difficult situations, can go a long way.

Good Example

Hi Jeff,

I wanted to write you a quick note to ask a favor. During our weekly meetings, your team does an excellent job of highlighting their progress. But this uses some of the time available for my team to highlight theirs. I’d really appreciate it if you could give my team a little extra time each week to fully cover their progress reports.

Thanks so much, and please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you!

Best,

Phil

What a difference! This email is courteous and friendly, and it has little chance of spreading bad feelings around the office.

 

Variations

There are a few variations of the 7 Cs of Communication:

Credible – Does your message improve or highlight your credibility? This is especially important when communicating with an audience that doesn’t know much about you.

Creative – Does your message communicate creatively? Creative communication helps keep your audience engaged.

Key Points

All of us communicate every day. The better we communicate, the more credibility we’ll have with our clients, our boss, and our colleagues.

Use the 7 Cs of Communication as a checklist for all of your communication. By doing this, you’ll stay clear, concise, concrete, correct, coherent, complete, and courteous.

Article found on website

Well-Being: How You Doing?
by On October 10, 2012

You probably hear it almost every day, and for folks that are pretty social, maybe many times during the day…

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a little more detail about some aches or a personal situation, but those are rare and usually superficial.

So how are we really doing? The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index can give us a snapshot or a trend line of the pulse of the nation or a subset, but how about on an individual basis? How often do we take the time to truly take stock of our own well-being?

While we generally have a good sense of our physical health, at least when symptoms are present, how conscious are we of our emotional and social health, areas that are core to our well-being?

Emotional health touches on areas most of us don’t often or ever consider: our self-awareness, taking time to be more mindful, being in touch with our feelings and sensing how they can guide or impact our behaviors. With our daily lives moving at a pace where it’s hard to keep up, it takes some effort to really pay attention and listen to the “beneath the surface” components that can be suppressed by our transactional days.

And in our interactions with others, whether colleagues, friends or family, the dimension of social health comes into play in how we choose to interface on an individual or group basis. What do you bring into each of these relationships, in those moments of interaction you share? How we initiate, communicate, respond and choose to agree and support or disagree and oppose help make up our social health. With whom we opt to invest our time and energy in relationships helps guide our well-being in positive or negative ways.

As a leader in well-being, we need to do more to promote our insights and ideas around social and emotional health, to provide deeper and more meaningful context about these elements of well-being so there can be greater understanding and appreciation of these areas.

As individuals, we can give ourselves a gift by making efforts to better know our own well-being, to make time to build better self-awareness, both for our own reflection and in interrelating with others.

So think about this, the next time someone says to you, “How you doing?”

Written by: Frank Hone

Language Lift ^~~^
by On August 23, 2012

by MARKTARP on APRIL 5, 2012

Have you fully realized this aspect of our human freedom?  You & I have 100% choice in every word we speak and write (and think) … step back and breathe in the power of this reality.  Since this is true, no matter what we’ve been taught in schools or absorbed in conditioning through society (family, friends, colleagues) as “standard” or “proper”, We Each Have Ultimate Selection over The Language We Use Daily …

… knowing this, then Why Not Gift Ourselves A “Language Lift” >> through changing from how we’ve “always” or “typically” expressed ourselves, to using language which uplifts us and allows us and others better feeling(s)?

Here’s an example I’ve recently employed in my own life AROUND THE WAY I SEE AND RELATE TO CONTRAST >>

… I’ve turned away from using the word “but”, and instead I substitute either the word (a) “still” or (b) “yet” … WHY? … because, for me, “but” feels like an energy of resistance (which could feel subtle or strong energetically, depending on my attitude at the time), and now in my life I realize there’s nothing in this abundant world of choices that I need resist, since I can always simply turn toward and then choose what I want.

(a)        When I employ “still”, I receive 2 powerful energetic reminders … (1) it reminds me to notice “STILLness” in space where I can breath and make a choice that serves me well, (2) it feels for me that what I’m turning away from can be allowed “to be” without its existence affecting me, and this honors the beneficial existence of our ever expanding choices … knowing that what I’ve turned from may actually feel wonderful for someone else (which is the essence and beauty of “diversity”).

(b)        When I employ “yet”, this gives me the feeling of “carefree knowing” or “it’s no big deal” in relation to whatever I’ve been facing which wasn’t particularly what I like or want (since I’m free to choose what feels better).  Also, the “Y” shape which begins the word, reminds me of simply another “fork in the road” at this moment, where I’m in complete freedom to choose … perhaps, in this relaxed mindset, another path which I hadn’t “Yet” imagined may then appear … and it often does in my STILLness haaa!!

It’s a big wonderful game, our language(s) life, and you can play it however you like, communicating effectively while creating better feeling(s) >> in turn, those we share life with receive better feeling(s) too.  Trust yourself guided by your highest inner feeling, choosing your words creatively.  Big Love, Mark **

Are You Asking For It?
by On May 1, 2012

There goes a saying around my house — Jana wants, and Jana gets.  Not because I deserve it, but because I ASK for it.  There are very few things in this world not worth asking for.  Have you ever complained about not getting something you want?  Have you considered taking responsibility for it because you did not ASK for it?

Perhaps you did not ask for a referral from a client, a raise from your boss, the sale, help from your spouse around the house, the pretty girl on the train for a date, or a refund for airline luggage fees when your luggage was lost?  If you could have asked for something you wanted, and you didn’t…why?

Did you not think about it, or were you scared of getting the answer, “ NO”?

Fear of rejection is a learned fear.  I believe it can be unlearned as well. When did we realize it was so bad to be told ‘no’?  So your parents told you ‘no’ when you were a child, so what…someone told you as a child you could not play with them, get over it…wherever this fear was learned – it is time to challenge the thoughts that are holding us back.  Why are you NOT ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT???

The other day I had a meeting that ended up being rescheduled.  Not what I had anticipated for my day, but I still walked out of that office with 5 referrals even though I had not technically conducted business with anyone.  So what if they had said no?  NEXT!

One of my favorite books is The Four Agreements.  If you have not read it, I highly recommend it.  One of the four principles it teaches i

s not taking things so personally.  The word ‘no’ is not going to kill you, in fact – how will you ever get the yeses if you never go for a no?  Anyon

e in sales knows this principle well.  There are many sales leaders that will tell you to go for the ‘no’.  For the law of probability will eventually give you a ‘yes’.

So you have come to the conclusion you are not asking for what you want. How do you begin? Start by asking yourself a few questions…

1. What do you want?

2. Who do you ask for it?

3. What is the best way to approach the person (make sure your intention is kind)?

4. What is the worst-case scenario if you do not achieve the outcome you want? (I guarantee it will not end in — and then I died.)

5. What is the best-case scenario (maybe you get MORE than you asked for)?

6. Is it worth the risk to you?

I have more cajones than most, so I say ALWAYS GO FOR BROKE – but you might not be so risky … maybe it is not worth it to you to be rejected for a simple room upgrade at the hotel. But what do you have to lose? The great news is, once you ask for it, you just might get it! With some self-confidence as an added bonus!

Roll Out The MAT
by On February 19, 2012

The other day I was forwarded a wonderful question as a result of a recent Weekly Instructor Led Development (WILD) call that I felt was appropriate to address in a blog post. It is my hope that this will be beneficial and provide some insight to all who read this:

“…how can we stay positive when we are around negative people, (specifically) family members and/or co-workers?”

I love this inquiry for two reasons: One, it is specific and two; it is something we can all relate to at least one point in our lives. It’s not uncommon to have that one family member who undoubtedly, by their mere presence sucks the vitality out of us with their negativity. I would go so far as to say nearly all of us have at least one in our family (If you are in complete disagreement than that negative person may be you). It is also not unusual to work with someone who brings us down by his or her constant doom & gloom attitude. I call the people above Positive Energy Sucking Twits (PESTs).

In any scenario I would recommend we simply avoid spending any length of time with that person, but I realize in this situation it poses a challenge since avoiding our family members or co-workers completely is not too likely.

So, what do we do? I have three ideas that I’ve been fortunate to pick up both from wiser individuals then myself as well as trial and error that will be of help. When we find ourselves in this dilemma, I encourage us to roll out (what I’d like to call) the MAT system for them.  (M = Model preferred behavior, A = Avoid engaging & T = Tell them)

1) Model the Preferred Behavior you’d like to see from them. Put another way, be the change you’d like to see. If you would like a different result you must take a different approach and it may mean showing the troublesome family member or co-worker how to behave around you by acting in the manner you wish to see from them. It will require patience and positive encouragement, but is absolutely possible.

2) Avoid Engaging in their Drama. Have you ever found yourself stooping to the level and mindset of the person you are with? When we jump on the “complaining bandwagon” with these PESTs we are encouraging more complaining and tying them closer to us. Conversely, when we stop engaging in their drama and, either ignores the antics entirely or finds something positive to add our PEST will most likely move onto someone else and join their bandwagon.

3) Tell Them. Sometimes we simply need to confront the person and tell them. If they are someone we truly want to be around, rather than subject ourselves to more mental anguish and turmoil, it is essential that we take the time and energy to relate to our difficult family member or co-worker what we are experiencing and would we would like to see happen. Once that is accomplished the “ball is in their court.” It is possible that this person had no idea they were being such a PEST. Most people we care about are not deliberately trying to bring us down and until we have the courage to let them know, they may continue to act in a way that is incongruent with what we would like to occur.

So, when we apply one or all elements of the MAT system then we are maximizing the possibility of having the outcome we desire with regards to our PEST. By applying these steps, it removes the victim mindset that tends to accompany our feelings towards our PESTs. By taking responsibility for our actions and behaviors we have more control and therefore are less subject to erratic emotions and ultimately we feel better more empowered.

I hope this has been beneficial and thank you to our courageous friend for asking such a wonderful question in which to create this blog post. Have a great week.

Be free.

David Shoup

NW Regional Director

Freedom Personal Development

Know What You Want…
by On February 17, 2012

I met a young college man today at a function and noticed some successful characteristics that he exhibited and wanted to share them.  This guy was sharp, great eye contact, nice handshake and always smiling.  I asked a few questions, how old, go to school, girlfriend, college major, etc.  He seemed like a man on a mission in how he was living his life.  So I asked, What do you want to do with your life?  He smiled and said “I want to make a Super Bowl Commercial” in a confident and knowing way.  He proceeded to tell me how excited he was for the day when he is watching the Super Bowl with family and friends and it comes on.

In reflecting on this interaction with this young man, I noticed 4 things that he was doing well and that over time, these 4 things will get him where he wants to go.

KNOW what you want, it’s different for everyone. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.  Meaning that you are a success when you know what you want and you are working toward it.  It doesn’t matter if you want to be a great parent or a multi millionaire.  Spend some time with this and come up with something that is meaningful to you.  What is your purpose, what are you here to do, what do you want?  Have a solid answer before continuing.

Being quick with you answer to the question, What do you want.  He answered the question without even thinking about it.  It was quick with no hesitation  This is key, you should be able to answer this question in your sleep.

Short and sweet for laser focus. His answer had no fluff.  When your Brain is able to focus on one thing, that focus is like a laser beam.  When your brain focused on many things, that focus is like a radio tower sending frequency in all directions and what you want is not getting enough focus.  Your brain likes specific and condensed information.  If you have different goals for each area of your life, that is great.  See how you can combine and condense them.  Sometimes one goal is a result of another or one would need to happen in order for another to happen.  Give your brain one thing to focus on.

Feel good when you think about it. As he was answering the question, he was smiling, joking, relaxed and confident.  There is what’s called a sweet spot with goal setting and it’s a balance between belief and doubt.  If you feel bad while thinking about what you want, deep down, you doubt you can get it.  When you feel good while thinking about your want, you believe it is yours already.  Find something that makes you feel great when you think about it.

These 4 things will lead him to his dream and they will do the same for you.

Thank you,

Alan Mong

 

Know what you want…

 

I met a young college man today at a function and noticed some successful characteristics that he exhibited and wanted to share them.  This guy was sharp, great eye contact, nice handshake and always smiling.  I asked a few questions, how old, go to school, girlfriend, college major, etc.  He seemed like a man on a mission in how he was living his life.  So I asked, What do you want to do with your life?  He smiled and said “I want to make a Super Bowl Commercial” in a confident and knowing way.  He proceeded to tell me how excited he was for the day when he is watching the Super Bowl with family and friends and it comes on.

 

In reflecting on this interaction with this young man, I noticed 4 things that he was doing well and that over time, these 4 things will get him where he wants to go.

 

KNOW what you want, it’s different for everyone. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.  Meaning that you are a success when you know what you want and you are working toward it.  It doesn’t matter if you want to be a great parent or a multi millionaire.  Spend some time with this and come up with something that is meaningful to you.  What is your purpose, what are you here to do, what do you want?  Have a solid answer before continuing.

 

Being quick with you answer to the question, What do you want.  He answered the question without even thinking about it.  It was quick with no hesitation  This is key, you should be able to answer this question in your sleep.

 

Short and sweet for laser focus. His answer had no fluff.  When your Brain is able to focus on one thing, that focus is like a laser beam.  When your brain focused on many things, that focus is like a radio tower sending frequency in all directions and what you want is not getting enough focus.  Your brain likes specific and condensed information.  If you have different goals for each area of your life, that is great.  See how you can combine and condense them.  Sometimes one goal is a result of another or one would need to happen in order for another to happen.  Give your brain one thing to focus on.

 

Feel good when you think about it. As he was answering the question, he was smiling, joking, relaxed and confident.  There is what’s called a sweet spot with goal setting and it’s a balance between belief and doubt.  If you feel bad while thinking about what you want, deep down, you doubt you can get it.  When you feel good while thinking about your want, you believe it is yours already.  Find something that makes you feel great when you think about it.

 

These 4 things will lead him to his dream and they will do the same for you.

 

 

Thank you,

Alan Mong

 

Know what you want…

 

I met a young college man today at a function and noticed some successful characteristics that he exhibited and wanted to share them.  This guy was sharp, great eye contact, nice handshake and always smiling.  I asked a few questions, how old, go to school, girlfriend, college major, etc.  He seemed like a man on a mission in how he was living his life.  So I asked, What do you want to do with your life?  He smiled and said “I want to make a Super Bowl Commercial” in a confident and knowing way.  He proceeded to tell me how excited he was for the day when he is watching the Super Bowl with family and friends and it comes on.

 

In reflecting on this interaction with this young man, I noticed 4 things that he was doing well and that over time, these 4 things will get him where he wants to go.

 

KNOW what you want, it’s different for everyone. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.  Meaning that you are a success when you know what you want and you are working toward it.  It doesn’t matter if you want to be a great parent or a multi millionaire.  Spend some time with this and come up with something that is meaningful to you.  What is your purpose, what are you here to do, what do you want?  Have a solid answer before continuing.

 

Being quick with you answer to the question, What do you want.  He answered the question without even thinking about it.  It was quick with no hesitation  This is key, you should be able to answer this question in your sleep.

 

Short and sweet for laser focus. His answer had no fluff.  When your Brain is able to focus on one thing, that focus is like a laser beam.  When your brain focused on many things, that focus is like a radio tower sending frequency in all directions and what you want is not getting enough focus.  Your brain likes specific and condensed information.  If you have different goals for each area of your life, that is great.  See how you can combine and condense them.  Sometimes one goal is a result of another or one would need to happen in order for another to happen.  Give your brain one thing to focus on.

 

Feel good when you think about it. As he was answering the question, he was smiling, joking, relaxed and confident.  There is what’s called a sweet spot with goal setting and it’s a
balance between belief and doubt.  If you feel bad while thinking about what you want, deep down, you doubt you can get it.  When you feel good while thinking about your want, you believe it is yours already.  Find something that makes you feel great when you think about it.

 

These 4 things will lead him to his dream and they will do the same for you.

 

 

Thank you,

Alan Mong

I met a young college man today at a function and noticed some successful characteristics that he exhibited and wanted to share them.  This guy was sharp, great eye contact, nice handshake and always smiling.  I asked a few questions, how old, go to school, girlfriend, college major, etc.  He seemed like a man on a mission in how he was living his life.  So I asked, What do you want to do with your life?  He smiled and said “I want to make a Super Bowl Commercial” in a confident and knowing way.  He proceeded to tell me how excited he was for the day when he is watching the Super Bowl with family and friends and it comes on.

In reflecting on this interaction with this young man, I noticed 4 things that he was doing well and that over time, these 4 things will get him where he wants to go.

KNOW what you want, it’s different for everyone. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.  Meaning that you are a success when you know what you want and you are working toward it.  It doesn’t matter if you want to be a great parent or a multi millionaire.  Spend some time with this and come up with something that is meaningful to you.  What is your purpose, what are you here to do, what do you want?  Have a solid answer before continuing.

Being quick with you answer to the question, What do you want.  He answered the question without even thinking about it.  It was quick with no hesitation  This is key, you should be able to answer this question in your sleep.

Short and sweet for laser focus. His answer had no fluff.  When your Brain is able to focus on one thing, that focus is like a laser beam.  When your brain focused on many things, that focus is like a radio tower sending frequency in all directions and what you want is not getting enough focus.  Your brain likes specific and condensed information.  If you have different goals for each area of your life, that is great.  See how you can combine and condense them.  Sometimes one goal is a result of another or one would need to happen in order for another to happen.  Give your brain one thing to focus on.

Feel good when you think about it. As he was answering the question, he was smiling, joking, relaxed and confident.  There is what’s called a sweet spot with goal setting and it’s a balance between belief and doubt.  If you feel bad while thinking about what you want, deep down, you doubt you can get it.  When you feel good while thinking about your want, you believe it is yours already.  Find something that makes you feel great when you think about it.

These 4 things will lead him to his dream and they will do the same for you.

Thank you,

Alan Mong

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special Invitation for Freedom Personal Development Blog Subscribers
by On June 21, 2011

BOSI Networking learn with like-minded individuals from around the world. Think of BOSI as the “LinkedIn for entrepreneurs”. In addition to building your Rolodex and accessing great insight, you get your own personal profile page where you can highlight yourself and your business cialis nebenwirkungen to the bigger entrepreneurial eco-system.

Joining BOSI is absolutely free so make sure to create your profile there today! Prior to creating your profile, pharmacy online store you’ll be asked to take the free BOSI Test – a fun way to discover your unique entrepreneurial DNA. It takes less than 5 Minutes. As soon as you’ve taken the test, you’ll get a full report of your DNA and have the opportunity to join BOSI using your Facebook or LinkedIn account.

All Freedom Personal Development clients are tagged as such so we’ll be able to network, collaborate, and learn together within the system. Freedom Personal Development clients who join BOSI and create their profile this week also get a complimentary copy of Breakthrough Entrepreneurship (a $49 value). Breakthrough Entrepreneurship is an online video course packed full of insight and business development strategy specifically for your Entrepreneurial DNA. You’ll get more details on the course once you have created your personal profile.

Take 5 minutes right now and join us on this exciting social network!


Joe AbrahamJoe Abraham is the Founder & CEO of BOSI Inc.

The BOSI Networking Platform is built on the foundation of Joe’s new book: Entrepreneurial DNA. Order your copy today!

Top 10 Questions to Ask when Networking
by On September 21, 2010

The power of networking is common knowledge nowadays. What’s not so common is knowing how to consistently and effectively do it. Networking is simple, but far from easy.

Whenever I’m speaking to a group about networking at least one person asks, “But what do you say (or talk about) when you first meet someone?” And someone else will inevitably ask, “What do you say (or do) when there’s a lull in the conversation?”

My response to both questions is the same. First decide if the person is really in the mood to talk to you. If you feel like someone doesn’t really want to talk to you, it’s no big deal. Move on to someone else.

If the person seems willing to engage in conversation then remember this. It’s one of the supreme laws of networking.

Make fewer statements; ask more questions.

The timeless advice offered by Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends & Influence People is that you “allow the other person to do a great deal of the talking.”

The easiest way to keep the other person talking and loving you the entire time is to ask the right kind of open-ended questions.

Why?

Because open-ended questions require more than a yes or no response and show that you are interested in the other person. These types of questions help to build and maintain rapport.

Here are 10 powerful networking questions – listed in no particular order – to keep awkward silence and fruitless small talk at bay. The insightful answers to these questions keep conversations moving once you get past “Where are you from?” and “So, what brings you here today?”

1. How did you get involved in…?

People like to tell their story. Give them an opportunity to do so while you listen attentively and they’ll love you.

VARIATIONS:
– What made you decide to major in…?
– What made you decide to attend (name of school)?
– What made you decide to go into the ___business?
– How did you get your start in the ___ business?

2. What advice would you give me if I wanted to be successful in your line of work (or major)?

This is a great follow up question to #1. It shows your humility and allows for mentoring.

VARIATION:
– What advice would you give someone just starting in this business/profession/major?

3. What do you love/enjoy most about what you do?

This question keeps happy feelings in the air.

And just in case you’re wondering whether or not it’s a good idea to ask what a person likes the least about what he or she does, the answer is no, unless you’re in the same line of work or major.

In which case, the answer will help you to find a common enemy IF you dislike the same things. If not, then disagreement ensues. My advice is to keep it positive whenever possible.

VARITATAION:
– What do you love/enjoy most about your business/profession/major?

4. What separates you from the competition?

This question gives a person permission to tout his unique abilities. Be sure to ask this question in a polite and inquisitive tone of voice so that it doesn’t sound like you’re challenging the person.

VARIATIONS:
– What separates your business/company/organization from the competition?
– What separates your school from other schools like it?

5. What one thing would you do if you knew that you could not fail?

A truly thought provoking and inspiring question to ask. (You should ask yourself this question.) It helps and encourages a person to dream and when she revisits the dream there’s a chance that you’ll come to mind often. That’s powerful.

VARIARTIONS:
– What one thing would you do with your business if you knew that you could not fail?
– What one thing would you do if you knew you were guaranteed to succeed?

6. What was the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your business?

People love to share war stories, but seldom get a chance to finish them because others interrupt with their own stories.

When you ask this question resist the temptation to interject your own horror tale. Remember – “let the other person do a great deal of the talking.”

VARIATIONS:
– What was the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced at your school?
– What was the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your organization? (e.g. Sorority or fraternity)

7. What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession/area of expertise through the years?

Great question for cross-generational networking because it allows a person to reminisce about the good old days. The following variations are good for upper classmen and graduate students.

VARIATIONS:
– What significant changes have you seen take place at your school since you’ve been here?
– What significant changes have you seen take place in your major since you chose it?

8. What do you see as the coming trends in your profession/area of expertise?

This is a great follow up question to #7. This shows a person that his opinions matter to you.

VARIATIONS:
– How do think your school will be different in the future?
– What do you see as the coming trends in your major?
– What do you think will change about your major in the future?

9. If someone were to describe you in one sentence what would they say?

Another very thought provoking question. Normally it is best used later in the conversation. You’re not interviewing someone; you’re networking.

VARIATIONS:
– If some were to describe your business/company/school in one sentence what would he say?
– What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business/organization/product?

10. It’s the end of a great week and you have some free time on your hands – what would you do?

This question will take someone to a happy place and help you to know her outside of professional or academic life.

VARIATION:
– What do you like to do in your spare time?

There is no need to memorize all 10 of these questions. Just start off with the 3 or 4 you like the most. Master them and then give the others a test run.

Keep in mind that no question in the world will help you be a better networker if you are not truly interested in the other person.

So, be interested, ask questions, and let the other person do the talking.

Source: http://www.alduncan.net/networking-questions.html

About the Author:
Al Duncan: The Millennial Mentor™, is a World-Class Motivational Speaker, an author, and a renowned Youth Speaker. Visit him online at www.alduncan.net