How often do you find yourself saying things you dont mean just to be polite? How many meetings have you been in where you know the real issues were not being discussed? What difficult but essential conversation have you been avoiding?
These questions come from Susan Scotts book Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time. A fierce conversation is one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversation and make it real. This is about cultivating the virtue of truthfulness.
Living a truthful life will bring you and your business better results, a quicker resolution to problems, more effective leadership, stronger relationships and a higher level of enthusiasm. Failure to live truthfully will cripple you and derail your company. No matter how hard you try to get away from it, the truth always asserts itself so learn to embrace quickly and on your own terms.
First, to live truthfully, we must know the truth. This is difficult because reality changes. Moreover we tend to only perceive part of reality, but we mistake our slice of reality for the whole truth. Therefore, we must be willing to ask each other and ourselves some very hard questions and drill deeply until we get the answers. Some good ones that Scott suggests are:
- What am I pretending not to know?
- What is the most pressing issue facing me, right now?
- What conversation have I been avoiding?
Dealing with the answers to these questions can transform your life.
Second, to live truthfully we must express the truth. In Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott says, Most people want to hear the truth even if it is unpalatable. There is something within us that responds deeply to people who level with us. This does not mean laying waste to everyone around with your new truth bazooka. Learn to level with people without laying blame on anyone. Focus not on people, but on getting everyone to see and accept reality so that you can move forward together on solid ground. Before any important conversation ask yourself a few questions.
- What is my intent for this conversation? What intent is most helpful?
- How can I deliver my message without any blame or shame?
- How can avoid allowing my emotions to distract them from the message?
Some virtues are inconvenient but useful. Truthfulness is downright hard, but if you cultivate it carefully, you will always be glad.
This article is written by David Denis owner of http://www.rocksolidwriting.com
David is a freelance writer for hire offering article writing, sales letters, training manuals, speech writing, seo content, sales writing, blog articles, copy-writing service, sales scripts and business name ideas.
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