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What to Do When the &^%# Hits the Fan
by On January 14, 2013

Consistent successful results come with their fair share of challenges.

Some people may look like they don’t have challenges and obstacles, but the reality is that everyone encounters pitfalls.

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Here are a couple of Do’s and Dont’s that you can simply apply to your next bump in the road.

Don’t Blame Other People or Make Excuses

Someone MAY be to blame!  You might have a perfectly legitimate excuse.  Your blame and excuses aren’t going to help you get a better result, they simply pacify you from feeling uncomfortable.

Don’t Ignore Your Problems or Sweep Them Under the Rug

Sometimes you need to have difficult conversations.  Sometimes you need to take actions that aren’t fun or comfortable.

Ignoring your feelings when you are angry or sad isn’t going to fix anything.  At best you are just delaying the problem.  At worst you are letting your negative energy build and become worse.

Take the high road and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

What to Do?

Look for the Good in the Situation

There is good to be found in any situation, so matter how difficult it may be.  This may not be easy and it might not be available for you see immediately.  When you look back at even the most challenging moments in your life, you can find how that situation lead to something good.  You can see how it fostered your growth and made you stronger.  You don’t have to wait years to pass to find the good.

Take Action

The old saying that “action cures fear” holds a lot of truth.  Especially when a solution isn’t readily visible, taking action will help focus your mind on things other than the problem at hand.

Be Grateful

You can’t be negative AND grateful at the same time.  By sincerely looking at other areas in your life that ARE working, at the very least, you will balance the challenging situations that you might be facing.

Start with the obvious and the easy to find.  Your family.  Your health.  Your work or friends.  Whatever fills you with gratitude is an immediate boost to your energy and allows you more power to go chase after your existing challenges.  If you are really stuck – this video will help!

None of these suggestions are rocket-science. I also imagine you’ve heard these suggestions before.  This is not a question of do you know this stuff – it’s all about are you doing it?!?

Be Free!


Your Story About You
by On January 7, 2013

Everyone has a story about themselves.

In fact, you have many stories about yourself.  You are good as this… Bad at that… Love this… Don’t like that…

Nothing influences your experience more than the story you tell you about you.

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Most people don’t know how to identify which of those stories are serving them, and which are not.

Your story of yourself is ALWAYS a story of the past or the future; oftentimes it’s of both.

It is a great thing if your story is positive and constructive. I’m always on time.  People can count on me. I’m good with computers. etc   That self identification is terrific, because it brings you into situations with self confidence and the picture of a good outcome.

The problem is that not all of your stories serve you.

I’m not good with money.  I have a terrible diet. I make decisions out of fear. I’m not a disciplined person. I’m not good at sales. etc

There are two things that help me to identify and overcome stories like these.

1. If you want to find your harmful stories, start by looking for your negative statements. Catching yourself saying negative things is an invaluable skill. For me, as soon as i realize what I’ve said, I grab a piece of paper and write it down. When it’s on paper,  it is no longer personal.  I can look at what I’ve said as an observer and see what is true for me.

2.  Understand ALL stories are a story of the past or the future. When you say anything about yourself, you are either referencing something that has already happened or that you are picturing in the future.  Whether something happened a second ago, hour ago or ten years ago; it is in the past.  The past is over.  Observe the difference between I am not good a speaking in public  and In the past, I have not been good at speaking in public.   The sooner continues into the future and seems like a matter of fact (of course it is NOT a fact unless you want it to be) and the later is more true, and it  leaves the future open to possibly.

This will sound very simplistic to some, but it’s not.  The fix for this takes work.  Sometimes lots of it.  There is no pill for self-awareness.  And even once you are aware of the story that isn’t true or isn’t serving you it takes a conscious effort to make that shift.

Certainly, that effort is worthwhile.  As i mentioned in the video, grabbing out a pen and paper and writing some of these stories down is a terrific starting point.

be free!


PS  Here is a list of stories that I have had about me that have not served me.  I find that making them public also neutralizes them and takes their power away.  These things may have been true in the past.  They may be true in the future and then they may not!

I’m not detail oriented

I’m hard on people

I can’t sing

I’m hard on my body

I never get enough sleep

I’m bad a math

I’m a bad writer

I don’t get technology

I’m a terrible boyfriend

I’m too competitive

I’m not creativ

I’m an extremist

Post some of your thoughts  and see what happens.