(1. Right click the link 2. Choose Save Target As)
I have the pleasure of spending most of my working hours in conversation with people about how they are improving some part of their life. Many people are discussing how they can improve their personal finances and get prepared for retirement. A lot of these conversations are focused on improving people’s health whether that is improving their diet or getting in shape for their next triathlon or marathon. A lot of people are trying to improve how effective they are working including their working hours are, whether that is in their office or in their home business.
Whatever it is, these conversations generally fall into one of two groups.
These are people that are making progress towards their goals. They are seeing improvement. They are excited about things and building a momentum. They are getting things flowing and it is fun.
The second group of people are feeling a little bit stuck and, for whatever reason, they are not making the progress they are intending to. They are finding themselves stuck in a slump of some sort and they are just not getting where they want to go. In this situation I always draw upon one of my favorite quotes which is, “If what you are doing is not working, simply do something else.”
Suggestions for Group Two
Now my first suggestion in doing something else is to be clear about where your focus is. Think about it. If you are in a situation where you are trying to improve any area of your life and for whatever reason that is not working, and you are feeling stuck. Generally the focus that you have right now is that you are stuck.
If you are looking at the fact that you are out of shape and you are not feeling like you are getting in better shape or looking at the scale in the morning and you realize that it is not getting smaller every morning or your finances or your situation at work is not improving; your sales aren’t going up, the relationship you have with your boss isn’t getting better. Whatever the situation is you are seeing it and you are seeing it in a way that is not improving. If you continue to see if that way, it only makes sense that you are going to continue to get that result.
I have three very easy tips for you today. They are going to help this process of getting a better result consistently for whatever it is that you want to do.
1. The first tip has to do with the relationship that you have with yourself. It sounds obvious but it is a very, very important one and something I’m going encourage you to try and try today. Simply be kind to yourself. It is amazing the conversations that we’ll have with ourselves when things aren’t going right.
We’re more critical to ourselves than we would ever consider being to another person. Imagine if you spoke to your spouse or your boss or the people that report to you in the same tone or critical manner that you sometimes will do to yourself. Obviously them more positive feedback that you can give yourself, the more praise that you can give yourself, the stronger you are going to feel about yourself and the better results you are going to get on the backend. That is not just about being nice and filling your head with a bunch of good positive constructive comments and feedback.
2. That obviously is a foundation but the second thing that I’m going to have you do is be very clear on a specific area where your relationship with yourself could be improved. For example, a real good friend of mine just made a decision this last weekend that he is going to remove any negative comments about his physical shape. He is a really funny guy and he likes to make comments about his extra 10 pounds or how he is chunky. When he doesn’t go for a run or doesn’t eat the food that he wants to eat, he’ll make some sort of a funny comment that will get everybody to laugh but, at the end of the day, it is not improving his situation, it is just reinforcing it.
3. The third thing this is to make a commitment to check in with yourself. That might be every morning or it might be every night but give yourself some sort of a specific time where you can evaluate how you are doing.
Improve your conversation. Be kind to yourself, be clear about what you are setting out to do and be committed to working on it. I wish all of you the best of success and look forward to talking with you either personally or on our blog.